The Good Rabbi's Blog

During my morning news roundup today, I came across this article from the BBC News Service. It seems that this guy in North Carolina, who had his leg amputated above the knee, stored his leg in a smoker, so that he "could be buried whole." The smoker was stored in a storage unit, and the man fell behind on his payments for that unit. As such, the storage facility auctioned off his belongings and all the contents, including the leg.

Now the man who bought the smoker is claiming that he is the rightful owner of the leg, and he stands to make a good amount of money from it (given that Halloween is coming). Naturally the leg's former owner disagrees. It's obvious to me that the man doesn't live in North Carolina anymore, because if he did, the fight would be over the smoker, not the leg...

Note: Some of the images linked to below are somewhat suggestive (although quite tame). As such, please exercise caution if reading in an office. These links are marked with an NSFW notation.

When people find out that I’m a professional chef, they usually react by asking me one of two questions: What is your favourite restaurant in D.C.? or Who is your favourite chef on the Food Network? It’s somewhat irritating, but it’s something I’ve gotten used to. Recently, I was talking with some people about the state of television in general, so I thought I’d air my thoughts about the Food Network, and some of the “celebrity chefs” that make the rounds there.

Overall, the Food Network is a huge disappointment these days. It seems that the entire channel has jumped the shark. The last network to do this so spectacularly was MTV. Remember when the M actually stood for “music?” Now there’s nothing but ridiculous game and dating shows, and they’ve really backed away from their core mission. At its heart, the Food Network seems to be doing the same thing. Now, let me dispense with one thing right away: my objections to the current Food Network programming have nothing to do with my being a professional chef. I’m not objecting because the programming is “beneath my level.” I’m objecting because I believe the Food Network is straying from what originally made it great: education.

The real reason that people watch the food Network in the first place is to learn something. Whether that something is how to make a soufflé, or what the differences and merits are of different kinds of charcoal, the goal is the same – learning something that you didn’t know before, that will be useful to you in some way. There were lots of times when I’d have the Food Network on in the background as I worked from home, as I used to do before I became a chef. Now I wouldn’t even consider it.

There seems to have been a real tectonic shift of late and some of the “old dinosaurs” of the network (Bobby Flay, Mario Batali, etc.) are being phased out in favour of younger, “fresher” people that, while physically attractive, have a troubling lack of experience working with food. Again, this is not a huge invective about how Rachael Ray can’t cook (that will come later), as much as it shows a real shift in focus network-wide that I find troubling. Instead of a focus on food, there is a preponderance of reality shows meant to pick various food personalities, Iron Chefs, etc. I mean, for Christ’s sake, Al Roker has a show on the Food Network. AL ROKER! He’s not even a food eater these days; he’s just a weatherman, and a bad one at that. As for Rachael Ray, she needs to concentrate on learning how to cook; not just running several shows, magazines, and men’s magazine photo shoots (see here, here, and here – NSFW). I really do hope that they get their act together and get back to what made them big in the first place, even if they do have to hire some new celebrity chefs to do it. It's worth noting, however, that there are aspects of their current stock (and old guard) that have not been explored. For example, Mario Batali regularly does segments for PBS where he explores his other great passion: Spain & Spanish food (weird, huh? Did you know he also has a line of grilling cookbooks, especially one that caters to NASCAR fans?). To me, this is a whole untapped area of expertise...

Well, it seems that a hangman's noose has been found at Columbia University. Of course, everyone's going all ape-shit again. This is in addition to the noose found at the Coast Guard Academy, the one found at the University of Maryland, and of course, the one that started it all in Jena, Louisiana.

Of course, rallies have been held, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and the rest of the Black agitators have marched, and yet, everyone seems to be missing the two real questions that need to be answered: First, why, in 2007, do we still have an informal segregation that produces things such as "black bleachers" and a "white tree?" It doesn't surprise me that Sharpton, Jackson, and the rest of the crazies aren't focusing on this, as they're particularly poorly positioned to do so (remember Tawana Brawley?).

But even leaving this alone, the bigger question is who actually knows how to tie a noose, anyway? Does anyone else find it disturbing that people can't handle basic math, but they can tie nooses? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Well, here's an interesting topic (albeit a couple days behind schedule). The other night on CNBC's Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, Donny had Ann Coulter on. During the course of the interview, Donny asked her what her vision of heaven would be like. She responded that it would be "like New York during the Republican convention." As odd as I find that, she went on to open her mouth and insert her foot. Describing everyone as "good Christians" prompted Donny Deutsch to ask her about other peoples, and whether or not they'd be included, specifically Jews (Donny is Jewish). She basically said that good evangelical Christians (like herself) just want Jews to perfect themselves by becoming Christian.

Now, I have two reactions to this. First, Ann Coulter has always substituted shrillness for intellect, and has always been quite the publicity whore. She doesn't care whether it's good or bad, as long as people are talking about her. For that reason alone, I'm sort of reluctant to post this, as I feel like I'm playing into her hands that way (not that I have a huge readership, but still). I'm not sure why people are surprised that she made this comment, as she ALWAYS tends to say things specifically to get a rise out of people. One of these days we'll just ignore her.

The second reaction I have to this, is that she's actually right (I bet you didn't see that one coming). Now, I'm not defending Ms. Coulter here, but she articulated perfectly exactly how most evangelical Christians see Jews. See, in particular there are two verses of the New Testatment that evangelicals really hold to. First, in John 14:6 (KJV), Jesus tells Thomas (his disciple):

...I am the way, the truth, and the light. No man cometh unto the Father but by me.

For by one offering, he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified,

In this way, many evangelicals think that Jews are just about there, and need to take that one final step to become, well, perfected. I'm sure that many will call Ann an anti-semite, and this would be a tremendous mistake. She's not anti-semitic, she's simply stating (quite articulately at that) what a lot of people think.

This sort of religious dick-waving (my god has a bigger dick than your god) is completely pointless, and anyone that gets involved in it is just proving that they are backward tribal people who wouldn't know modernity if it bit them in the ass. The best response here is to simply ignore both her, and the professional victims that will undoubtedly call her an anti-semite (rumour has it that Abraham Foxman is on his way across the country, so he can sneak into a lecture and be deeply offended, as is his usual M.O.). I hope that people are better than this, but to be honest, I haven't been very impressed by either the Jewish people I've seen or the evangelicals. Hopefully they'll prove me wrong.

As some of you may remember a while back, I posted a video that was a ghetto version of the Charlie Brown Valentine's Day special. While it was incredibly offensive, I found it incredibly funny. Well, seeing how it's Halloween today, and last night ABC aired It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!, I thought I'd post a ghetto version of that special as well. While I'm at it, I missed Ramadan, so the Ghetto Charlie Brown Ramadan special is included as well for no extra charge! :-)

It's also worth noting that these are super NSFW, and generally in very poor taste, so if you're in an office, use headphones or turn your volume way down (or just wait until you get home). You've been warned. That having been said, this is some of the funniest shit I've seen in a while...